LUMBERTON — A husband and wife are hoping to turn their loss into something that will help other people.
Elliott’s Embrace is a nonprofit support group for people who have experienced any type of infant or pregnancy loss, including miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy and others.
“We wanted to put our time, efforts and love we have for him into this group,” Ashleigh Windley said.
The support group, which held its most recent meeting on Tuesday, is named in memory of Cameron “Elliott” Windley Jr., the late son of Ashleigh and Cameron Elliott Windley Sr., who was born on June 26.
“Our son was healthy for 38 weeks until he passed, so it was pretty traumatic,” Ashleigh said. “We’re trying to turn something heartbreaking into something positive and reach out to other people in the community.”
“There’s so many people in our area who have experienced the same thing,” Cameron said.
The idea of Elliott’s Embrace came in August, soon after the the loss of the Windleys’ firstborn, which was caused by complications with the umbilical cord, Ashleigh said.
Cameron said the process of starting the group has been therapy for them.
“It was more of a way of healing,” Cameron said.
“As a result of losing him and going through this traumatic heartache literally every day, we decided to shine a positive light on it,” Ashleigh said.
Ashleigh and Cameron went out to seek support from others who may be experiencing a similar loss.
“There was some in Raleigh, Cary and Winston-Salem I believe, but I didn’t see any in Southeastern North Carolina so we decided to start one in our area,” Ashleigh said.
Cameron said it was important to them to get support from people who have experienced a similar situation to that of losing a child during or soon after pregnancy.
“We want people to realize that it is OK to talk about their loss,” Cameron said. “In this day and time, we find infant loss to be more prevalent. Ashleigh and I have found the most comfort in sharing our story with others who have experienced infant loss.
“We’re really trying to push this so other people will have outlets.”
The group’s first meeting was in October, and, so far, has been a success, the couple said. Five couples, including the Windleys, were present at the inaugural meeting. The Windleys stressed that the class was open to men and women.
“His (Cameron’s) fear was that he would be the only man, but he wasn’t. There was four other men,” Ashleigh said. “And all of the men that were there were very vocal.”
“We had his nursery ready, his crib and took all the tags off his clothes and diapers and stuff ready to roll,” Cameron said about Elliott. “It messes with you. I don’t care who you are, man or woman. I feel like men really need that outlet to really talk about the way that affects them.”
Through the group, Cameron already has built something of a bond between him and the other men.
“Men are more likely to hold something in,” he said. “Something as intimate as losing a child, something that personal is very hard to talk about, but when you see more men sharing the same stories it presents a sense of welcoming.
“It’s good to have a brotherhood. It’s bittersweet.”
The couple has goals for expanding the group and its resources. They are planning to hold fundraisers to financially help mothers who are left with hospital bills after a pregnancy loss.
“When you get home and have a delivery bill, it’s nice to have something to help you with all of those costs,” Ashleigh said. “We want to raise enough money so people can apply and we give them money to help with those costs.”
The couple also hopes to hold a walk in 2020 in the month of October, which is Infant Loss Awareness Month.
“The ultimate goal is to be supportive of our peers who are going through this,” Cameron said.
“We hope the meetings will be a place for people to discuss their stories, talk about grief, and share support and coping mechanisms,” Ashleigh said.
Elliott’s Embrace has a private group page on Facebook where people can join, reach out to other members and hear about upcoming meetings. A Christmas social is planned for December, and the next meeting will be held on Jan. 14 at 6:30 p.m. at Robeson Community College.
